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Do I Have Mommy Brain or is This Just Boring?

October 16, 2012 by danawyyc 4 Comments

I’m no longer sure I know the difference. I’ll pick up a book that people are raving about, read a few pages and put it down. Do I just not like the book? Do I diShe looks cute but she is a sleep stealersagree with all the hype? Or have my kids just taken any cleverness I used to have along with uninterrupted sleep and time to myself?
It’s hard not to second guess myself. Maybe I should like this book. Maybe I’m just not trying hard enough.
But I just don’t want to read it.
Similar things occur in other areas of my life too. Sometimes just having a conversation can seem like more than I can handle. I can be desperately trying to pay attention to what someone is saying and before I know it, my mind has wandered and I have no idea what the person I am talking to just said. It’s making me have a lot of empathy for people with attentional difficulties. It’s not that my mind wandering hasn’t been a problem before, but it’s never been so pervasive or felt so out of my control.
So do I really have mommy brain? Before my kids, I used to be able to pay attention to things even if I didn’t find them inherently interesting. I’d consider myself smart even. And I do feel like I’ve lost some of that, but I’m pretty sure my kids are only indirectly responsible.

Reasons Why My Brain is Sludge

1. Lack of good sleep
Now that Gordie (3.5 years) has stopped napping I’m finding it even harder to catch up when I lose sleep. Sleeping in is not something I even understand the meaning of any more and I find it hard to go to bed as early as I should and forego the small amount of kid free time I get in the evenings.
2. Lack of uninterrupted time
It’s hard to concentrate on anything when your kids are taking half of your attention or when they are interrupting what you’re doing every five minutes. I hardly do anything without it being frequently interrupted, including simple things like folding a basket of laundry.
3. I just don’t care anymore
This one I don’t think is going to change with time. I read because it makes me happy. I love to read. I don’t have time to read a book that I’m not enjoying. I don’t feel the need to prove that I can read complicated books. I know I can, I’ve done it. And if I’m enjoying reading Young Adult novels right now, so what. They are fast paced, and gripping and I can read them in little snippets of time I have available with ease.
I definitely hope I regain the ability to have a have a conversation without my mind drifting. But as for the books, I’m not so sure. I may not be at my best, and that book may be great, but I reserve the right to decide it’s boring anyway.

Filed Under: Motherhood, Thoughts

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Courtney says

    October 16, 2012 at 2:45 am

    Sometimes grown up books are just boring. And now I’m curious what you were trying to wade through…

    Reply
  2. Dana says

    October 16, 2012 at 3:15 am

    The latest was the Sultan’s Wife. I started to read it. My mom says I should give it another try. I pretty much exclusively read young adult novels right now aside from my book club books. And I love them.

    Reply
  3. Courtney says

    October 16, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    I love YA. I’m rarely disappointed in a YA book.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Books and Bites: Cafe Rio and 419 | says:
    February 9, 2015 at 10:17 pm

    […] centre of the photo).  The book itself is not one that I would normally pick up I’ve been reading a lot of YA fiction lately but it is definitely a book worth reading. It centers around a Nigerian Scam nick named 419 […]

    Reply

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About Me

I'm an experiential playground expert and mom to three young kids. I live with my husband in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. When I'm not looking after people, I'm reading all the YA fiction I can get my hands on and am attempting to learn photography. My laundry-folding suffers due to more interesting pursuits.

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