I was trying to put Robbie, my 8 month old down for his afternoon nap. Nicky, who is three, was hovering just outside the door waiting for me to finish. Gordie stayed home from grade one because he caught a cold and was coughing enough to need his puffer.
Robbie was obviously tired but was just not giving in to sleep. That’s when I found myself questioning my life choices. And asking myself, Do I even like kids?
Today was one of those days where it felt like I was spinning my wheels and just not getting anywhere. Honestly, a lot of days feel like that.
Robbie’s no longer a small baby and things are way easier. He’s a pretty good sleeper and not as needy as he used to be. Things get better so slowly it’s sometimes hard to notice the difference
Yesterday I made chili and hamburger soup. Our kitchen table is generally clean and some days I even have enough energy to sort through some of the areas that have gotten completely out of control.
But some days are still hard. Gordie starts school at 8 so I need to be up before 7am. But I have trouble going to sleep as early as I need to. Robbie is a wonderful sweet tempered baby. But he is exhausting to hold. And I’ve lost count of the number of times his big baby head has smashed into my nose this week.
Like all stages, this one will end. Robbie will stop trying to crawl into my mouth and start causing a whole new set of trouble crawling around the house. And eventually I’ll start going to bed early enough so that I’m not sleepy all the time (at least I hope I will).
Some days are tough. Some days I just feel like hiding.
I’m pretty sure that’s normal. Raising kids is hard, tiring, exhausting and often thankless.
Not loving every minute of it doesn’t mean anything else.